Too much time to think.......the recent past claws at my brain and makes me remember and hurts as bad as it did when the memories were made.

Clawing for stability

If you do not want to read the whole post. Here is a visual representation, worth 1000 words.

Just when I was seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I landed a good job with a major Class I railroad. Things seemed to be turning for the better. Family? Check. Civilian Job? Check. Reserves Career? Check. Health? Check.

New rule, tunnel traffic can be two way. I got run over from behind.

Looks like I have been voted off the island again. Not that I want to be single again mind you and the reasons as to why are not fully clear to me.

One can go through all kinds of introspection and self-doubt. I handled the first one rather badly. I ate all wrong, and drank way too much. I was like Jim Morrison in Paris in 1970. Fat, drunk, and full of self loathing. I would never get myself back into that mess right? Um, well.

So I kept telling friends I would stay single and unattached from then on. Little did I know I would meet someone who would make me redefine my idea of love, of who I am, and of what home and happiness mean. I was actually getting used to being here, eagerly looking forward to seeing her family and visiting her hometown. It was starting to feel like I belonged somewhere. I trusted that everything would be alright. I trusted that we would always get through together. I felt safe and wanted. Even after the loss of my career, health issues, death of my Step-Father, loss of my civilian job, and more stupid bad luck than one person really deserves in a two year span.

I still feel rather numb and minute to minute over it all. I feel sort of like Wile-E-Coyote just as he is hovering in space and has that realization that something is horribly wrong. I know what will happen, but am hoping for a less than catastrophic impact.

My friends have gone above and beyond in all this to keep me sane and focused on the tasks at hand. Letting me vent, repeat myself and just listening to me. I am sincerely grateful for their friendship.

I have sought out professional help as well, a spring cleaning of the cobwebs that clutter every mind. Perhaps I will learn something profound about myself and prevent this sort of thing from shaking me to the core again.

I have not been sleeping well, or at all. Food for me is one meal a day at best. The hardest thing is to turn off my brain and sleep. The thoughts speed up to the point where panic attacks happen with startling regularity, usually in the evening after dark when it is really quiet and ones thoughts cannot be ignored or tuned out with work or social activity.

Still, I am not one to cut and run. I get knocked down by "bad luck" and I come back, just like wile-e-coyote. Perhaps I do not know any better, call it what you will.

Hartwood Days

  This year it was just two of us at the Hartwood Days festival. It is a one day reenacting timeline event coupled with what one would find in a county fair.

Unfortunately, pretty severe weather cut the event short by almost half. I did manage to get some good photos to include some fellas representing the Coal Wars in West Virginia. This is an area of study that has fascinated me for some time. I was happy to see some folks doing the fight some justice. It is the largest insurrection in the US post Civil War.

  I have everything needed to be an irate and armed miner. So I am mucking in with them with the hopes they will do more events.

  Here's some more photos of the day.

A good friend and fellow Legionnaire, just a different legion!!

Strange Weapons: ZB-47

Usually I post up about strange weapons that were a failure for one reason or another. This one is jyst a strange looking one. That thumb hole stock was a little ahead of its time.

The ZB-47

   After any major war, there is a spate of designing using lessons learned the hard way through conflict. One was the need for armored vehicle crews to be able to defend themselves when outside their ride or if the vehicle should become disabled. One severe limitation is space. You do not want your weapon to get snagged inside the vehicle when getting out fast is usually a life or death necessity.

  The Czechs designed the ZB-47 for that purpose. It has no protruding parts to get snagged. The weapon was designed with a thumb hole stock that could be folded down (there is a wood stock version as well). The magazine went into the weapon parallel to the stock. It fired 9mm ammunition and held 32 rounds. The rounds faced upwards, and were fed into the weapon by a rotating system.

  The service life was fairly short, but this design has been resurrected in a way by the P90 system and others.

BMP-1

This last weekend, a reenacting unit I am in got the chance to ride in the BMP-1 twice. Part of the deal was we had to do a combat dismount each time and fire some blanks for the crowd. Naturally, we were more than happy to oblige.

The first day it was hot and very humid. I did not like the cramped and stifling confines of the BMP-1 at all. Sunday was better, since rain had made the day 15 degrees cooler. One of our members dropped a magazine for the AK-47 during the demo and on the next pass it got run over. That was our only causality.

This was a red banner year for the unit, having a full compliment to ride the BMP-1 AND getting to do a shooting dismount. Our unit C.O. is in contact with veterans of MSR 16 and they approve of our efforts.

The group was also afforded the chance to sit inside the very cramped turret of a T-72 main battle tank. We jumped at the chance!!! It is really tough to get good photos inside such a confined space.......

County Prison

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Site of the trapdoor for hanging condemned inmates

Inside the Womens cell

This is a site I have been wanting to document for some time. Patience has paid off I think.

I spent over an hour walking around and photographing this remarkable building. I hope it does get re-purposed someday. It would be a shame to see it rot away and collapse for nothing. A nice law enforcement museum or something of the like would be great.

The walls are nearly two feet thick and made of reinforced brick. The windows all have heavy iron bars covering them and they curve outward to allow windows to be opened for fresh air.

The prison was built in 1906 and opened it's doors in 1907. One hanging was conducted in the prison before the states took over the responsibility from individual counties. There were 12 cell blocks, each containing 7 cells and a shower cell. Downstairs were two large rooms that held female prisoners that had bunk beds and had a bathroom attached. Also on the first floor was the intake, admin, and temporary holding cells. The basement had the kitchen, laundry and storage.

Walkersville additional photos

There was a lot to see at this little railroad. Here's some of the better shots.......

Parlor in the Heavy Pullman sleeper. Needs a little work and it is ready for the rails again!!

Original Advertisement

The restored dining car

Another advert/PSA

Under restoration

The shifting lever on the Davenport

This would be fun to ride! Notice the reused .30 Cal ammo cans on the front!!

Walkerville Train Ride

Went with the better half to Walkerville to ride the scenic train there. They have it all over the Middletown line we rode a couple of weeks back with my kiddo. That run was fun and all, I just prefer the Walkersville line more.

The tracks were originally laid down in the 1880s and crosses the Monacacy river twice on the trip.

 


They have some really great rolling stock and preservation efforts are in full swing to get the stock back to their former glory. The railroad company boasts 5 different diesel/electric and diesel/mechanical locomotives and gets usage of a little steam engine for several runs each year as well!

The best part of the day is getting to ride up in the 1930 Davenport locomotive with the engineer. Both of us are looking at volunteering with the company for some fun and meet some new folks. All "employees" are volunteers......

The Davenport has a Caterpillar diesel/mechanical set up. It has a 4 speed transmission with a clutch. So it is like driving a huge truck....